I love you, but you are a parasite.
I love the way you talk to me every mile, and tell me how I’m doing. I love the way you track my calories, miles, steps and altitude. I love that you give me a report I can send to my trainer.
But just once I let you off the leash and you invaded my Facebook account.
Yes, I introduced you to my friends. I admit it. Just one time I wanted to share a hike, and now, no matter what I do, you post every run/walk/hike/sneeze.
They’re my friends, and I will decide when you get to talk to them. Just because I introduced you doesn’t mean you get to tell them everything I’m doing.
You’re always posting, posting, posting – to my account. Every time. No matter what I do.
I signed you out of Facebook, and you said “Srsly? If you disconnect this account from Facebook, you will not be able to use Facebook login again.”
That was a chance I was willing to take, but still you posted. I checked and double checked before every run to make sure I was disconnected from Facebook. I was, and you posted.
Then I found it, another Facebook button, just as I was asking you to save my run. Aha! This is how I keep you from posting. I slid the button to the off position, and still you posted.
This is no way to have a relationship – but maybe that’s never what you wanted anyway. I assumed you did. My mistake.
I assumed you knew that if we hung out together, eventually you’d sell me something, and that would be great because it would be something I wanted. I’d probably share more hikes and my friends would get to know you better.
You got at least one download from my Facebook page, of that I’m sure. But was it worth it? What kind of growth do you expect when you kill me off to gain another? You’re a parasite. That’s what you are.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Parasitic marketing is not the way to go. Sure, it’s great for single transactions, but what about loyalty? What about the long term? What about a relationship?
Jumping from one to another may seem fine in the beginning, but eventually you’re going to want settle down and be a brand. Put down roots and create some loyalty.
Oh MapMyRun, you had me. I was hooked. But there’s a lot of other apps in the sea, and I’m gonna go get me one. And maybe this time, I’ll make a better choice. I’ll find one that’s depositing some equity in the brand bank, not squandering its value all over the neighborhood. One that wants to be with me, not just use me to get others.
Maybe my next app will be the right one, and we’ll run off into the sunset together, or to wherever life takes us.
And as for you, MapMyRun, when you’re ready to be a brand, don’t come knocking on my door. There’s nothing you can do to make me load you up again.
You are officially deleted.